#306 Hiking
what to wear outside in nature
Hello! Happy Thursday
We’re back with our regularly scheduled content: creating characters out of clothing I already own, in different settings.
This episode is about how to wear clothes that aren’t steamed. (jk, please forgive me and let’s move forward.) I’m in Colorado, so it’s about how to rock clothes in and around red dirt.
No. 1:
I love this outfit because it intimidates the fuck out of people. The short swaggy kings love this one. Probably because my belly (her name is Betty) is out to play. This tank top is extremely comfortable and makes me look massive, highlighting all the meatiest parts of my upper body. It’s slutty butch.
I have a short butch friend who loves to remind me of the privilege it is to be a tall butch and I’m here to agree.
They were born with big bones and relatively high levels of testosterone, okay! This is natural evolution (and pollution) and I love this privilege, so here I am to rub it in your face :)
This tank is a knit from Madewell that used to be a midi dress. Once I had overused it as a skater dress, I decided to chop it and now it’s my sweaty butch tank and I love it <3
No. 2: Prep Meister
I did in fact go to prep school and have lots of family in Charlotte, North Carolina, so this one runs deep.
When you have little to no hair, something you can never forget when hiking is a hat. And I have to say this purple Dodgers hat I bought at LAX is truly the most comfortable baseball cap I’ve ever owned. Especially in a place like Colorado, touting Los Angeles really makes you look like an asshole, which is the vibe, so. But in my humble opinion, being an asshole isn’t the worst thing you can be. You could be a murderer, or a coward.
I do really like this outfit because it’s preppy but also utilitarian. It’s hot as hell in Colorado right now, so I want to be wearing just a tank top, but my pathetic white shoulder skin can’t handle the beating sun like that even after reapplying sunscreen, so I wrap my shirt around my shoulders and voila, protected and not too hot. In the off chance I need to hide my body from weird creeps and/or if I somehow land in a crowd (hasn’t happened yet ty god) it also gives me something to cover myself with. I like to feel safe and I don’t like being exposed in crowds.
This is an old Uniqlo cotton button down that is pretty thick. Another article of clothing I wear over and over and over until it’s shabby and then replace it with the exact same thing. Time for a new one, I suppose. This outfit would be far more effective in proving my preppiness if it weren’t so wrinkly…BUT who irons clothes before they hike? Let’s call it ~authenticity~ lol.
I LOVE CLIMBING ROCKS! But not rock climbing… too high, too much anxiety…
No. 3:
This outfit is “Brother who doesn’t want to be there but was forced by his parents (who he still lives with) to drive his sister and her friends to the park. Thinks he’s famous and way too cool to be seen with his sister in public, but actually has nothing else to do.
The shirt is a bit from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, a show I loved growing up. I wear it so much it’s in tatters now. But Fun Fact: this show was dubbed and played on German television in the 90s/early 2000s all day everyday, and so I grew up watching Will and Carlton argue in German. Couldn’t have told you what Will Smith’s voice sounded like, but the dance moves stuck lol. This and The Nanny where very popular on RTL.
ps. Hokas are the best (this is not sponsored, yet!) When one pair gets old I just replace it because these are the best running/trail shoes I have come across. Cushiony and they last forever. I semi-recently got the black ones for a more versatile look, but I had two pairs of these turquoise ones for ages and I still wear them, especially when I don’t want to get the black ones dirty.
Me, after ironing my shirt this morning:
Okay thanks and see ya next week!!
Carson <3
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