plus, trying to bring back the phrase: your ass is grass, man
Hello!
I hope everyone is doing well, enjoying the transition from summer to fall. Physically and/or emotionally. I’ve really been listening to the musical Rent on repeat. This probably has more to do with my transition into an Angel than it does with the seasons (of love!!), but I also miss a New York fall so I’ve been cranking the 2005 original motion picture soundtrack on long drives. To my pleasant surprise, my neighbors on the road have been letting me have my moment. While stopped at a traffic light, I continue to belt things like "pushed off a cliff by a suicidal Mickey Mouse!!!” and mostly just get a giggly cringe from surrounding commuters. No eye contact, and that’s the way I like it. Highly recommend if you are looking for an effective low-stakes release for all those high-stakes feelings.
Anyway, we are actually here to talk about uniforms today!
I got a second job at the fancy mall down the street. I wear a t-shirt and a hat, a clear identifier that I am on the job. So it’s got me thinking about uniforms.
Uniforms signify a team. They visually identify you as someone who belongs to a group of people that do a thing. Uniform literally means “the same.” What that something is varies from work, to fighting fires, causing a ruckus on motorcycles, or attending a specific school.
Often uniforms are made for effective safety - firefighters need protection! Protect them!
The most obvious example is camouflage, part of most military uniforms.
Outside of employment, a uniform implies a certain lifestyle, that said group lives by a specific set of rules. In the case of school uniforms, maybe your family practices a certain religion. With motorcycle clubs,
it tends to be a disregard of established rules that guide you. Either way, it immediately leads the viewer to associate a person with a group or community rather than an individual.
When wearing a uniform, there is an expectation of communal restraint, putting the team ahead of yourself, of your own ego. At other times, it also means that when a member slips up and loses their shit, the community will step in and help them get back on track. And because the clothes I put on my body so closely correlate to my mood and confidence, there’s a beautiful simplicity to the act of wearing a uniform. It’s a physical reminder to focus on the group priorities.
Here’s the tricky part: I find it very easy to lose sight of myself and go into robot mode, for better or worse. Uniform on and I am a high-functioning machine! Blame my upbringing. But while I secretly carry this annoying human ego with me, the one with all the feelings and the need to be heard and a burning desire to stay forever young in the hearts of millions, robot mode isn’t particularly sustainable for long periods of time. My battery life is sub-par, and my personal ego will find a way to rear it’s ugly head eventually. For about five hours though, I appreciate the very straight forward nature of robot mode.
I was able to remain quiet and separate my uniform hours and my own feeling time (this blog) until last year when I realized that Los Angeles County is the land of industrialized Ego in which you have to learn how to weaponize your own emotional individuality or get stabbed in the back and completely lose it - no offense you animals, the views make it worth it!
This is where the artillery properties of fashion and dressing oneself come in. While a uniform helps create a known and consistent structure, the use of clothes to express one’s individual point of view is an equally immediate and long range tool.
Though I don’t look exactly like this anymore, I still have a bleach blonde buzzcut, so even on my uniform days, I don’t quite blend in with the crowds at the grocery store. I don’t have to open my mouth and a stranger can immediately see I have an individual point of view, or am at least good at pretending to. Blame my upbringing. On top of all that, then I choose to open my mouth and continue with more weird shit? With mild contempt, I’m beginning to see why people would assume I’m on my own team... so guess what, now I am!
It’s been a minute since I’ve worn a literal uniform for work, but it’s been a comforting return. It helps that I feel seen as many different versions of myself by my coworkers, giving me more agency as a person with a helpful perspective and less as a worker bee. A helpful way to create longevity within a human workforce! Maybe I won’t need the physical reminder forever, but right now the uniform allows me the mental space to disconnect from those pesky individual feelings of doubt and envy and just do. In return, this leaves me with the emotional energy I need to take progressive risks in my creative career pursuits. And who knows, maybe in the not-so-distant future I will have my own team to blend more of my not-so-small ego with!
Speaking of, would you wear either of these tee shirts?
If you’ve noticed, I’ve been away from social media, mostly to clear my head and focus on paying for my Rent. But I’ll be back! To continue my troll behavior when I feel it’s a hilarious and helpful contribution, or to share my designs.
Cheers and until next time,
xx Carson
(mostly misc)
I would wear either shirt, lol!